'I want to enjoy a campfire from my porch': Guest wants to light a campfire in the middle of a forest, hotel employee refuses to sell him firewood

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Apr 24, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

Rules are rules, and at hotels, they exist for a reason. One guest checked into a hotel in the middle of a forest, and a while later, came up to the front desk clerk to enquire about campfires. This guest thought it would be a brilliant idea to light a campfire right outside his cabin so that he could enjoy it from his porch. Dude… do you know anything about fire safety? The front desk clerk stared at him and informed him that 20 yards away, were a bunch of leaves, dry as the desert. He couldn't light a fire anywhere near there. That's when things took a turn, leading to an amusing series of events that you can read all about below in a series of screenshots. Afterward, check out another story about safety, but this time, about an employee who refused to work for a company that didn't give him the proper safety equipment for work. Tsk, tsk, when will people learn?

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  • 01
    "I'm not selling you any firewood, we're in the middle of a forest."
    via Canva
  • 02
    That's a hard no. And again, still no. Yeah, no. Not giving you this one, either. I'll let you leave, though.
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 03
    I had a winner here today. You know they're going to be trouble when they strut in wearing a shirt proclaiming 'public land owner'. My location is inside a national park. So great. They think they own the place. "I know the county has a burn ban going on right now, but since the lodge is on federal land, it doesn't apply. So I can start a fire on the grass just outside my cabin, right?" You meant the dead grass, beside the dead, dry trees coming out of the forest not 20 yards from your cabin?
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 04
    "Yes, I want to start a campfire that I can enjoy from my porch." NO. NO YOU MAY NOT. You could've walked 40 yards to the fire pits but I'm not selling you any firewood now that you've established yourself as a fire risk in the middle of the f g forest. "WHAT?! I WANT TO SEE A MANAGER." Well I'm the front desk and gift shop manager manager, so still no. Same guy: "Y'know, since this is federal land I shouldn't have to pay state and county sales tax. Take it off, or get me a manager who can."
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 05
    Well. I'm still the front desk/retail manager, and also the only manager on duty right now. If you look on that wall right behind me, you'll note that our business license is from the county so you do need to pay sales tax because we are legally required to charge it. "But I'm from Oregon and we don't pay sales tax there." Well, you're not in Oregon right now. "Well Washington State lets businesses waive sales tax for Oregon residents! Can you do that for me?"
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 06
    Do you have a tax-free ID from the US State Department? "No" Then no. That'll be $98.73. "But these are 2 for $25!" That promotional price is for the $15 t-shirts. Not the $35 sweatshirts. You do not get 2 $35 sweatshirts for $25. Also, that special is for 2, and you only have one. The total is $98.73. Will you be paying at the register, or charging this to your room?
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 07
    "Actually, I'm just checking out early. I don't care what the policy is, give me my deposit back. This place is a f ng dump in the woods. I want something classy that isn't embarrassing to be seen at." Well, the cancellation policy I can definitely break for you, sir. I sincerely hope you find a hotel that meets your standards. But, uh, there's an agricultural festival, big bicycle charity ride, a baseball game, and a fishing tournament this weekend. It's not like anybody has any rooms on a summ
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 08
    I, uh, may have forgotten to mention that to him. So anyway, 4 hours later he comes storming back in demanding to know why his keys aren't working because he wants his room back. I sold that room 15 minutes after housekeeping cleared it, dude. Now get out before I trespass you. What? You're throwing a fit because I'm going to make you sleep in your car in my parking lot? No, I won't make you do that. It's illegal to sleep in your car inside the national park unless you're in a campsite. It's leg
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 09
    Agathasmoon. Please behave or I'll send you to your room. So so stupid! Good on you though for getting rid of his a 5. Maybe this will be a lesson for him. 1.6k Share EC_CO LOL. no lessons were learned. he thinks it's everyone's fault but his own 711 Share ...
    via u/Agathasmoon, u/EC_CO
  • 10
    strangegoo⚫ My absolute favorite line will always be "Well then I'll just leave early!" because they think it'll have this magical effect of making us fall on our knees and beg them to stay. I got at least your deposit and if I'm lucky, another night's charge. I'm good. You can go. 577 Share MoonChaser22. That attitude was especially annoying in seasonal guests. at my old work place. They pay so much for the year and stay until we closed for winter, so some had the idea that because they paid go
    via u/strangegoo, u/MoonChaser22
  • 11
    royalty. The kicker was that they pay less per night than any other guest and if their bad behaviour gets them kicked off site they're not entitled to any refund what so ever. We keep their money and can then rent the same pitch at full price over summer. 169 Share
    via u/MoonChaser22
  • 12
    ZephyrLegend · Washington state resident here: it annoys the f' out of me when people try to tell me: "But I'm from Oregon/Montana, we don't have to pay sales tax!" Uhm, that's only if you're going to be using the product or service primarily within your home state. Since I can't physically pick up your room and move it there, sorry buddy, you're SOL. 406 Share ...
    via u/ZephyrLegend
  • 13
    [deleted] Retired NPS ranger here, chuckling. Once upon a time, I would have been the guy who rousted him out of the parking lot after you were done with him. Forty minutes to the boundary, sir, right down that road. 187 Share badgerandaccessories ⚫ Is this all national parks? When I travel I always make it to Yellowstone at like 2 am and sleep in a parking lot until daylight, tired driving is dangerous.
    via u/badgerandaccessories
  • 14
    perfectway76 · I'm sad to know people like this exist. Sorry you had to put up with him. You handled the situation really well though! Lol at "why are my keys not working?" Ummm "your keys"?? Excuse me? Seriously??? You gave up those keys when you decided to leave the property! 124 Share ArmandoPayne . "Yeah but I'm like from Oregon so all our keys should work." 86 Share
    via u/perfectway76, u/ArmandoPayne
  • 15
    MightyCaseyStruckOut "Actually, I'm just checking out early. I don't care what the policy is, give me my deposit back. This place is a f g dump in the woods. I want something classy that isn't embarrassing to be seen at." As do I, sir, which is why I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Here's your deposit back. You handled the situation with aplomb, OP. 161 Share ...
    via u/MightyCaseyStruckOut
  • 16
    TheBlueSully OP If I'm going to sell the room I don't even care about the deposit. And this was a summer weekend. Of course I'll sell the room. I'd much rather have somebody that wants to be there as a guest. So please leave. It helps that our ADR is always fine. So I can sell the room for 80% off and the GM doesn't care if we're at 100% occupancy. 48 Share ...
    via u/TheBlueSully
  • 17
    deanna0975 I used to work front desk at a popular hotel chain and we would deactivate keys all the time if we wanted guests to come to the front desk for something. Usually guest that won't answer the door or phone. They would come and say "my key isn't working" and we'd say "oh I'm so sorry I can fix that for you and while your here...." 152 Share ...
    via u/deanna0975
  • 18
    randypriest. As you chose to steal the key, please be advised that a lost key charge of $150 has been deducted from your payment card 85 Share ...
    via u/randypriest
  • 19
    Soap Mctavish101. This was supremely satisfying to read on a bad day. Thank you so much. Well done. 21 Share ...
    via u/Soap_Mctavish101
  • 20
    MiraKraz Thank you for putting him in his place. I get the feeling he needed it. Considering that almost a year ago Oregon came very close to losing some of the most beautiful public lands the state has to offer (to the Eagle Creek fire, which was started by a teen carelessly tossing illegal fireworks around), that selfish POS knows better. I'm so glad you didn't give him even an inch of slack. 16 Share
    via u/MiraKraz

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woods Forest campfire worker hotel guest hotel manager refund workplace stories reddit coworkers working key card employees duty housekeeping firewood funny selling
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